15 Couple goals for a healthy relationship

Relationship goals is a term we often hear. Is it really true, or have we made up such terms to satisfy our perfectionist attitude? When it comes to relationships, we all want a perfect girl/boy. We do not tend to lower our standards when choosing a girl/boy for us.

We all have our own fantasies when it comes to relationships. We think about our life partners, and we tend to expect certain things from our better half. No one can validate our choices. However, certain things are not true.  

Relationships are not only lavish vacations, matching outfits, magic words, long drives and ever-happy fantasies. Relationships are responsibility. It is hard, and you will be held responsible for the other person. It is an emotional bonding where two people accept each other, where love is the binding factor.

Are relationship goals really necessary?

It depends on the couple. The two individuals in a relationship have to decide this factor whether relationship goals are really required.

Apart from setting goals, when two individuals have different choices and still find a common way to stay together happy, this is what we call couple goals.

We can say that only love is required for a relationship to be strong. Yes, it gives a stronghold for two individuals in a relationship. This will make a relationship work. Yet to make love last long, you will require certain materialistic things like financial support to build a happy family.

If you are looking to understand relationships and make a relationship work. This blog will help you understand the real perspective of relationship goals.

Is it good to fantasise about relationship goals

Relationships are a two-way commitment. The best thing you can give the person you love is your time. So, if fantasising relationship goal is to spend time with each other, yes, it can help build a healthy relationship.

The good and bad parts of relationship goals will depend on the individuals in a relationship. However, there are tips to make your relationship strong and help you understand each other.

Goals to make your relationship happy and strong

Embrace imperfection

Humans are imperfect and can make mistakes. Always remember that no relationships are perfect. Couples we see in movies, fairy tales and social media seem to be perfect. They frame a set of things for a couple to be happy.

These impressions are not true and are only meant for social media and entertainment purposes. The reality is that imperfections make your relationship strong, and when you learn to accept your partner with their flaw, your relationship becomes more strong.

Understand each other

Understanding is the root of any relationship. Love languages are different for each individual. Some people have physical touch as a love language, and some will express their love through texts and calls. So do not expect your partner to express love as you do.

For example, if you express your love through texts and calls, but your partner is not compatible with this, and only meeting in person will be comfortable for your partner.

In such cases, try to understand your partner and find a common way to share your love and care for each other instead of pulling your partner toward your zone.

If you do so, you will be able to get their love and also enjoy each other’s companionship.  There are also books available to understand people’s love languages. “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” can help you understand different types of love languages.  

Align on core values and beliefs

These core values and beliefs are important. Such values and beliefs keep you and your partner together.

Relationships are not easy, and you will reach a point where you get bored. At that time, these core values and beliefs keep you together. However, these things will not be a one-and-done conversation.

You and your partner have to align the core values and beliefs that will keep your relationship together and also help you move forward.

Improve communication

A common saying goes, “Communication is the key”. Communication plays a major role in making a relationship successful. Two individuals with differences come together in a relationship.

Never assume things in a relationship. Instead, try to communicate each and every detail. Even if it is a small detail, do not hesitate and communicate it clearly.

Ask your partner directly how they feel about the relationship. And if you want to discuss a topic that you both have not discussed with each other. Seek a professional who will help you out.

Create a judgement-free zone

A judgement free zone is important for sharing everything and becoming transparent. No one likes to be judged for anything, even if they are wrong. In such cases, they will require the full picture of the problem to understand, move forward and correct their mistakes.

This goes in a relationship too. Create an environment where your partner can share everything with you without the feeling of getting judged.

When your partner tells you about a problem, allow them to talk and listen carefully. Do not try to intervene and let your partner calm down. Later on, make your partner understand the problem.

If you feel your partner has a different perspective of the problem, which is not right. Talk politely and give them a clear picture. Do not pester them, and allow them to process your words. This will help you to move forward and have a better understanding of each other.

But if you do not have the mindset to listen to them, try to convey that to your partner. And resume your talk after you become calm and open to hearing out things. If you do so, you will be able to analyse the problem properly and give your partner a clear solution.

Learn each other’s love languages

As discussed earlier, love languages differ from one individual to other. Love languages are the way a person expresses their love to their partner. It can mean how they accept the love from the other person.

Communicate clearly about your love language and try to understand your partner’s love language after communicating with each other. There are many types of love languages, and the best type is considered spending quality time with each other.

Love languages do not mean candlelight dinners, physical touch and costly holiday destination. Cuddling with each other on the couch, watching a movie together with a comfort meal, complementing each other, emotionally supporting your partner, spending quality time with your partner and small funny gifts are also considered love languages.

Be vulnerable

Being vulnerable to your partner can make you emotionally attached and build a healthy relationship. At first, you might feel uncomfortable and resist yourself. It cannot be done at one stretch.

You might have the tendency to close yourself and go back to not being vulnerable. However, we cannot open up at one time. The process of opening up will take time and finally, you will become fully vulnerable to your partner.

At the same time, remember you should make your partner comfortable with you. Pamper them when they tend to share things with you, support them and do not judge them.

If you feel your partner is closing up, try to speak to them and make them understand what you feel about them. Try to encourage them by using these phrases like “I’m proud of you”, I’m happy to be with you. These words will make your partner comfortable and feel safe.

Make each other a priority

During the initial days of the relationship, we tend to be attached to our partner. But as days progress, the attachment may reduce. However, this feeling is not wrong, it’s a natural process.

We also tend to become packed with our schedules, and our relationship takes a back seat. At these times, always remember to make your partner a priority.

Efforts to make your partner happy, love and attention can make your partner feel that you are making them a priority and not taking their love for granted. This should be a daily practise and not only once. By doing this, you can make your relationship forward and also helps build trust.

Weather the storm together

You never know what can happen next. You might have certain problems, like a closed one passing away, your partner might lose their job, and your child might fall sick. Life will not be a bed of roses every time. We tend to face difficulties at some point in time.

Try to support your partner if they are going through a hard time. This is the time when your partner will need you the most. Stay close to them, and they can tend to be harsh or cry without reason.

In such times, do not try to calm them and just be with them. Your partner will only need your presence and not your advice. Just support them and communicate clearly what you are thinking about them. A relationship becomes stronger only when a couple handles hardships together.

Mutual respect

Mutual respect is an important aspect of life. Treat your partner right. He/she is your partner and not your mother or father. So support them in their daily chores and help them with the cleaning and other household work.

You need not agree to whatever your partner says. Likewise, you and your partner can have certain differences. Disagree with the point that your partner says politely. Do not make your partner dumb. Instead, communicate to them what you think and why you think that your partner’s opinion will not work out.

If you think your partner disrespects your opinions and feelings, it is important to get professional help. Maybe you are in a toxic relationship, and a professional might help with it.

Friendship

Friendship is the base for any relationship. Always treat your partner as your best friend. We tend to share everything with our best friends. So to make a long-term relationship work, treat each other like friends. Hang out together like best friends and make each other feel secure.

Try cooking together on weekends, have a simple holiday trip and learn a new skill together, like dancing or watching a series together. Try to create memories together. This will help you make your relationship strong.

Intimacy

Intimacy is a delicate part when talking about relationship goals. It is very important to prioritise time with your partner for intimacy. Making love is a very important part of a relationship.

Consummation is a very important part of every relationship. If you are not able to spend intimate time with your partner, try to adjust your schedule. If you feel you cannot spend intimate time with your partner, then it is high time you have to re-check your schedule and make intimacy your priority.

Due to a lack of intimate time and moments, many relationships have ended. Never let being intimate with your partner fall to the bottom of the to-do list. If you have different expectations or needs about sexual life, consult a professional. They will be able to help out.

Discuss those topics

Discuss topics like parenting, finances, work-life balance, politics, religion and many more. There are certain myths that you aren’t supposed to discuss certain topics in a relationships.

Just break the ice and start to discuss “those” topics. It is not mandatory that you and your partner should have the same perfective toward a certain topic. Just discuss and understand where your difference of opinion occurs. This will help to understand your partner and their perspective on life. Also, it will identify which topic you both would like to be more comfortable with.  

Write love notes

Writing love notes or love letters has always been in our roots. As we have modernised those habits have faded. We send texts to our loved ones. And some people have the habit of keeping them as those texts are special to them.

Handwritten notes or letters can add more romance to your love life. Your crappy handwriting can be special to your partner. However, crappy it be, your partner will understand those letters and keep them special.

Write special notes and stick them where your partner will look at them. Those notes need not be poetry or some William Shakespeare tales. Just an “I love you” can make your partner’s day after a long day. This would bring a smile, and don’t you think it’s worth the effort?

Have an “us vs. the problem” mentality

When you tend to face problems in life, it is easy to point them at your partner and say “the problem is because of you”. Never do this, it can break your relationship. Always have us vs. The problem mentality.

This mentality will help you identify the root cause of the problem, and you will also find a solution together. This will also strengthen your relationship. Above all the efforts, two heads are better than one!

Conclusion

Relationships are not a bed of roses. It comes with great responsibility. You have to understand your partner and find a common way when differences arise. Happy couples are not those who never fight. But those couples always stick together despite the differences and fights.

This can be achieved with mutual respect, friendship, communication and intimacy. A happy and healthy relationship is a two-way street. Both people have to put in equal effort to make a relationship work.

Making love is also an important part of a relationship. Communicate your needs effectively to your partner. If you don’t like a certain opinion or act of your partner, communicate it at the start. Your partner cannot read your mind. Communication is the key to any successful relationship. Relationship goals are not common, and only couples should decide about those goals. Discuss with your partner and live a happy life.

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